The other day we were driving home and had just pulled off the highway when it hit me in the heart. I was gazing out the window and I suddenly felt this intense wave of emotion.
It was triggered by something as funny as, hair. There had been a woman at a gathering we had been at with curly hair. Not even hair the same color as my sister’s, but still curly nonetheless.
It is amazing and bizarre how our minds work isn’t it? I thought of her for some reason and my mind went to a memory of seeing her curly hair. That interconnected immediately to Debbie.
Henceforth the wave of emotion. It flowed right through me and then lifted. Taking off into the universal space around me.
Sometimes I’ll look at our son and think of something humorous. I then turn in my mind to that yearning desire to tell her, Debbie, because I know she’d laugh too. I stop suddenly and take a deep breath.
These waves have come less, but just as intensely. What I have learned from these recent waves is this: I know it’s ok, it’s honest, and it’s essential that I honor my feelings as they rise and acknowledge them. I know that even though she is not here to hold our baby boy, I can feel her presence holding us in her heart. I still see her in my nephew’s smile and I can feel that connection always pulse. Because, love never dies, it just transforms.
Currently my life revolves around nursing our wee babe. Apparently my furry babies also feel that, in being supportive sisters, it is their duty to partake in baby care.
Evidence as follows…🐾
Our cat Bella is 13 years old. She was our first fur baby. She has always been supportive and accepted Kimmy, her puppy sister into our home a year plus ago.
Kimmy dog warmly accepted the baby into her pack when I was seven months pregnant. She started refusing to run more than a mile with my husband. She would come to a complete stop whilst on a run. She would then turn around and pull him towards home. Previously she was a five mile runner. Soon after that she wouldn’t even go on a walk without me being with them. Presently she will go on walks again, but only if we are all together. Her intuition is very strong and she is a sweetheart of a loyal pup.
If baby boy cries Kimmy comes running to his side. She will often nose us and then try to lick his head, toes or hand comforting him as she knows how.
Animals often intuitively know when their human needs something. The day I went into labor both furry girls snuggled close to me in bed and wouldn’t leave my side through early contractions. Love can be translated through species. ❤️
A blogger friend I follow here on wordpress, Oba, at: “A Thousand Shades of Awesomeness,” suggested a challenge for her readers. She encouraged us to define who we are without writing about a role we fulfill, or any accolades we may have received; but rather to define ourselves by the true selves. So, here goes:
I am female: well, wait that’s a label that I was assigned at birth from our society. I am a human being residing on a planet I know to be Earth. Alright that takes me a bit closer into my depth. I look at myself in a mirrored reflection and see one physical point of view of the body that I walk within.
I am grateful: I strive to find gratitude for each day and especially the challenging moments.
I am hopeful: I try to find reason amongst the chaos by shining light upon humor or possibility in all situations I am presented with.
I am positive: I also remind myself to provide grace, to both self and those I interact with daily.
Try as I might this was much more challenging than I originally thought when first considering this topic. I do truly define myself by many of the roles I fulfill in my family, friendships, and work life. Why is it so ingrained within me to define myself so quickly by the standardized version of who I am within this society? Essentially I can be defined as a being with a spirit, that resonates deep down in my core. Aren’t we all spirits masked by shells that we comb, lacquer, and buff until we are satisfied with the exterior? The roles that we play, are essential components, but important to note: these are extensions of our being, not definitions of our humanity or souls. I am not merely a wife, mother, friend, or daughter. There is a deeper root that dwells far within my core that I do not always tap into. It’s that core, the root chakra that yearns to be flexed more. My identity is directly connected to my gut, and equally to my heart, the feeling centers in my body. I need to challenge myself to redefine what I see physically and metaphorically each day.
Thank you Oba for sharing this challenge/idea!