Confidence

Take up space.

You are worthy

Take up space.

You are valued.

Take up space.

Your life has meaning.

Take up space.

Listen to your gut.

Take up space.

Embrace who you are.

Take up space.

Love yourself because you are your own longest relationship.

Take up space, on repeat.

Take up space, what a phrase, what a world, and what a time to be alive right now. Who knew that in the year 2022 we would still be fighting this fight to have rights over our own selves?

Women are powerful.

How scary, how terrifying to see someone own their own space, and feel in awe of their glow. I guess when light shines too brightly, those who seek the shadows latch on and pull until their tug gives way. Here’s the thing though, light, seeks light.

Someone can always try to knock you down, or make you feel less than, or unworthy, but that speaks more about them than it does about you.

I was recently chatting with a friend and the topic of confidence came up. Where did my confidence come from? As an introverted extrovert, I recharge in alone time, but I light up like the fire sign that I am when I can channel my energy positively with others. Cue dance music, lights, I’m in the zone, and l.o.v.i.n.g. i.t.

Where does the idea of confidence derive from?

I believe that nurture has way more to do with us than we would like to admit. Finding ways to come face to face with the experiences you were raised with or the paths you have traversed will help you heal deep wounds that could potentially hinder your opportunities later in life. Here is what I mean by that. Take, for instance, a compliment, if you say, “Thank you, I appreciate that,” versus “Oh this, no, I’m not …..” kicking yourself and thinking you’re less than. Truths seep out in everything we do. If we allow ourselves to believe the floodgates of thoughts that pass by daily, one could really be paralyzed, run, or fight with everything and everyone including themselves. Nurture, the very word makes me think of blankets, comfort, food, hugs, and family, but that’s because of my upbringing and where I come from.

I do believe that confidence is rooted in a kind of chutzpah, a sense of gumption, audacity, who does she think she is?! I grew up feeling firmly rooted in the knowledge that I was one human in a massive world; however, my life had meaning. I knew that I was loved, I felt that I was valued, and my abilities did not define me, my actions were of value, not the way that I looked, but how I treated others, how I used my words, how I could potentially impact the world. I think a large part of this comes from my family, and also my idea of what faith means. I felt a sense of community in knowing I came from somewhere and that I wanted to be a person who had a story to share. I walked with a sense of knowing, but also felt outside of myself in public spaces. The introvert in me allowed me to process deeply, take time, and tread cautiously, but the extrovert in me held hands with the introvert and spoke up when she needed to. She said, “No,” firmly, and never allowed someone to squelch her fire. There were many, many times when water was thrown on the fire, but still, it simmered. There is something to be said about feeling that connection of value and worth and carrying it on your shoulders.

Confidence comes from within, but I believe it takes practice to look at yourself and truly believe in it.

Confidence and value are sisters running through your mind and needing direction. Channeling them in daily practice helps reinforce when those traits take center stage throughout moments in your life. Having the confidence to speak up for yourself is the first step to helping others. It’s the same example as “put on your safety mask first.” If you don’t help yourself, then how can you be of help to others?

I remember sitting in a meeting, taking notes, and being told by the admin, “Look at me.” I set my pen down, looked them dead in the eyes, and said, “I am listening to you. I learn best when I write things down. That’s my learning style, and if I cannot meet my own needs in a meeting, then how can I be of service to my students?”

It’s the knowledge of knowing how to use your chutzpah, channel your tact, and spin your plates accordingly that make all the difference. Life is never easy, but if you lean into who you are, it becomes much less complicated.

So, what is the takeaway from this stream of consciousness? Perhaps it lies in the following words:

Take up space.

You are worthy

Take up space.

You are valued.

Take up space.

Your life has meaning.

Take up space.

Listen to your gut.

Take up space.

Embrace who you are.

Take up space.

Love yourself because you are your own longest relationship.

Take up space, on repeat.

Photograph by K.Sciuto.

3 thoughts on “Confidence

  1. Great advice and great post. i like what you said about nurture though it does go beyond just family. and there are triggers to our deeper nature, not always a good one. Good thing is like you said, when you know thyself, it’s all easier to deal with.

    Liked by 1 person

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